October 2016

psych2go:

DO let this person know that they can talk to you
about it openly, without any fear of judgment. It’s very important that
they know that you’re there to lend them an ear, and that you aren’t
going to judge them or change the way you think/feel about them based on
anything they say – even if they say the same fear over and over and
over and over again (because for many, the fears and thoughts are nearly
exactly the same each time).

DON’T get frustrated. Remember, anxiety disorders
are not just thought related – they’re chemical as well. Those with
anxiety really do know that their fears shouldn’t bother them, but as
hard as they try they can’t stop, and expecting them to use logic to
control their anxiety is extremely difficult, if not impossible.

DO spend time with them as much as possible. You
being around them is a bigger help than you realize. In fact, they may
not realize it either. But time spend with others is time that makes it
harder to think about their anxieties, and that time really does make a
difference.

DON’T bring up the anxiety often. This is a tricky
one – while you want to be there to talk about it, there are some
anxieties, like panic attacks, that can be triggered by thinking about
it. In other words, if you ask someone “how are your panic attacks?” you
may accidentally be causing them to think about their panic attacks
when they hadn’t been previously, which could actually trigger an
attack. Let them bring it up to you.

DO tell them to call you anytime, anywhere. Talking
on the phone and knowing someone is there to pick up can actually be
incredibly comforting to someone that is trying to control their
anxiety. Anxiety can make people feel lost and alone. Knowing that
someone is a phone call away reduces that feeling.

DON’T let anxiety affect you as well. Make sure
that you are working on your own stress and anxiety, because the way you
feel can have an effect on the way others feel, especially as you spend
more and more time again. If you’re dealing with anxiety yourself, the
other person is going to deal with more anxiety as well. Take my anxiety test to find out more.

DO be forgiving. We keep emphasizing that anxiety
can change neurochemistry for a reason. Anxiety can make people more
quick to irritation. It’s not in the control of the person with anxiety.
Ideally, try your best to be forgiving. Let them know that you
understand, and that even if it’s not fair you’re not going to quit the
friendship because of it.

DON’T expect massive, immediate turnarounds.
Unfortunately, controlling anxiety does take time. Those that try to
cure it too fast often find they have setbacks that are sometimes worse
than the initial anxiety. It’s very important that you understand that
curing anxiety can take a lot of time, and even on the way there, there
are going to be issues that come up and fears that they’re going to
have. It’s natural.

DO exciting activities. Try to be outdoors. Find
things to do that don’t involve alcohol (since alcohol can cause
setbacks in anxiety treatments). Stay active. Exercise itself is a known
remedy for anxiety, and creating new memories can help people cope with
some of the stresses of life. So try your best to get out and do things
together.

DON’T guilt trip. It can be hard, but you have to
remember that those with anxiety often struggle to get out of their own
head. They want to relate to you, talk to you, and be friendly, but they
have an incredibly hard time dealing with the thoughts they can’t
control. They take over their mind and their memories. If you guilt trip
to try to get more attention or get them out of their bubble, they may
withdraw further.

DO be proud of them when they improve. They’ll be
able to see it on your face. Remember that anxiety changes thought
patterns and can make people think and feel much more negative, which
unfortunately means that many of them are going to interpret your facial
expressions negatively, assuming you’re annoyed with them or ashamed of
them. Thus making sure to highlight your positive emotions and your
pride – and actually being happy when you see recovery while avoiding
feeling frustrated during setbacks – can be very valuable.

DON’T give up hope. Anxiety is a treatable
condition. The person in your life isn’t going to always feel or believe
it’s treatable, and there are going to be times when even you think it
might keep going forever, but the reality is that anxiety is perhaps one
of the most treatable conditions available today.

DO be yourself. You don’t need to change who you
are, and the person with anxiety doesn’t want you to change either. You
are close for a reason. Be yourself. The fact that you’re looking for
what you can do to help this person with anxiety proves that you’re a
good influence in their life. Be positive, have fun, and be the person
that your friends or family member loves.

You might want to give this a read: http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/tips-for-friends-family